I often write about the need for passion, that through passion for a job, a relationship, a hobby we can really and make things happen. However sometimes passion can be demonstrated in the wrong way, and it can come out as anger.
I’m probably not the best role model for this because I can be a little volatile, but time has mellowed me (I think). I really try hard to think before reacting.
There was an exchange on the internet this week where one industry expert in the staffing industry accused another of “taking shots”at a third person. It resulted in a number of blog entries and “some back and forth” which really wasn’t necessary.
In this case, someone got upset about a comment they thought was derogatory. Instead of picking up the phone, or sending an email to the “offending person” to understand the situation he “let loose” with a shot across the bows through his blog. The result was an escalation that was fairly predictable.
All too often we can “react” with anger, or a quick response, without truly understanding the situation or taking time to think through the ramifications of our response.
Here are a few thoughts on the subject:
1. If something upsets you make sure you truly understand all of the facts before reacting.
2. If someone upsets you then try to address that person alone, rather than have the discussion in public.
3. If you are upset then do not write something that you may regret. A common trick is to write the response, then delete it before it goes anywhere.
4. Time has a way of making us look at things a little differently … take some time to let the emotion reduce.
5. If you need to respond to someone or some thing, then get a second/third opinion from a trusted advisor before proceeding.
Often anger will pass, and a response is not necessary.
Almost always a measured, calm response will elicit a better result than “flying off the handle”.
Too often the issue is miscommunication or poor communication leading to a misunderstanding.
Give people the benefit of the doubt.
There is way too much real conflict in the world … we don’t need to add needless battles for no good reason.
There is a fairly common phrase … “Be slow to anger and quick to forgive”. Not bad advice to live by!
Kevin Dee is CEO of Eagle (a Professional Staffing Company)
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