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Do you have to forgive a recruiter who's done you wrong or made you angry during your job search? The simple answer is no, you don't have to forgive anyone. There are plenty of staffing agencies in the market and you can easily find a new partner.
As with every other aspect of life, you never have to forgive somebody, but should you? That's a more complex question, so naturally, has a more complex answer. Almost every personal development expert will tell you that holding grudges does little to improve your life, wastes a lot of energy, and can cause you to miss out on positive things in your future. While we don't expect forgiving a recruiter will bring you eternal happiness, it may prevent you from missing out on future IT contracts. Before writing your recruiter and recruitment agency off the books forever, step back and ask yourself a few questions:
Why am I angry?
This is the first and most important question. After the dust settles, reflect on what made you so angry and decide if it is as grave a situation as it was when you were furious. Were your recruiter's wrong-doings based on a mistake or lack of knowledge, or was it an ethical situation that speaks to who they are as a person?
Is it all the recruiter's fault?
A tough question to ask yourself, but was there anything you could have done better to improve the outcome of this mishap? Often communication on both parts, or lack thereof, is the root a preventable misunderstanding.
Am I being empathetic enough?
Try to understand the recruiter's point of view. They get pressure from many different directions and have to make difficult decisions. Have you properly communicated the situation to your recruiter to give them a chance to make it right?
Does this issue reflect on an individual or the staffing company?
Staffing agencies are more than just the one or two recruiters you speak to. The best ones have solid processes that ensure you're paid on time and protected tax-wise, as well as long-standing relationships with clients who have the best technology contract opportunities. It would be a shame to walk away from all of this because of a poor recruiter. If you truly can't work it out with the recruiter, escalate to a manager so you can continue your relationship with the recruitment agency.
Forgive and forget?
We often hear the expression "Forgive and forget." This may be true in playground rules, but does not apply in business. When somebody does you wrong, forgiving them is your choice, but there is no obligation to forget. While we do recommend moving on and continuing with business, it's always safe to keep past situations in mind. Use what you learned to understand how you can work better together and proceed with caution where necessary.