The Eagle Blog

Negative People

I subscribe to a newsletter from a motivational speaker, Kit Grant, who I always enjoy. He can be quite irreverent, has a habit of “honing right in” on subjects that can be a little touchy, and telling it like it is! Today he talked about the affect that negative people have on those around them, reminding me of my own thoughts and experiences on that subject.

Some years ago my wife decided to get an Executive MBA. This was a family decision (ie. me and her!) because the impact was going to be significant on our home life. I was going to have to take up Mr. Mom duties if she was going to be able to devote the time to her work. So, while working in a full time job she managed to get her MBA over the course of two years.

One of the major decisions we made was to avoid contact with negative people. This is not always an easy thing to achieve when there really are so many negative people in the world. Some of these people you can totally avoid, some take effort to avoid … and others you just need to minimize to as little contact as feasible! It works! Negative people suck the life out of you, they drag you down, they erase your spark … and when you actively avoid negative people it can have a huge positive affect.

You all know who they are … and hopefully they are not you, or you have even bigger problems because you need to get out of that rut (another blog or two). They are the co-worker who is always complaining about workload, or the boss, or the client or the support staff or anyone else they can find to complain about. They are the person at the bus stop, the person at the gym, the person next to you in church, they could be your Brother/Cousin/Uncle or your boss, her boss or the people that work for you.

So … you have to be absolutely ruthless with your time. Zero contact with negative people that you can possibly avoid! Change church, gym, grocery store, bus route … whatever it takes. You need to minimize contact with everyone else negative … don’t go to the water cooler when the whining co-worker is around, keep your head down busy and be careful to never invite them anywhere. With family … tougher, but just reduce contact by seeing them less often and for shorter periods of time.

You will be amazed at the impact on your own state of mind if you can free it up to be focused on the positive! Try it … it works.

Go visit my friend Kit Grant’s website and get some positive reinforcement too!


Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInEmail this to someonePin on PinterestShare on Google+

4 thoughts on “Negative People

  1. What if these negative people are your family – your mother, sister, brother? You love them and care for them more than you probably owe to.

    Most days you come home to broken furniture. It’s rare to wake up with-out the usual fighting and yelling outside your room. You grew up like this. But you never really got used to it.

    How do you just take off when and they depend on you financially? The thought of abandoning them breaks your heart.

    You say to yourself this is life now and that things will get better. But you look back and see that its been 6 years of the mundane hamster wheel.

    You now realize you’ve lost control of your life. And that all you’re choices were made out of fear, obligation and guilt. Then you wonder if you’re really living or perhaps you’re already dead and just didn’t notice.

    You know they are sucking the life out of you. Deep down you want to get away. But how do you escape? How do you go about your life when the very people that you need to get away from are the people you can’t live without?

  2. What if these negative people are your family – your mother, sister, brother? You love them and care for them more than you probably owe to.

    Most days you come home to broken furniture. It’s rare to wake up with-out the usual fighting and yelling outside your room. You grew up like this. But you never really got used to it.

    How do you just take off when and they depend on you financially? The thought of abandoning them breaks your heart.

    You say to yourself this is life now and that things will get better. But you look back and see that its been 6 years of the mundane hamster wheel.

    You now realize you’ve lost control of your life. And that all you’re choices were made out of fear, obligation and guilt. Then you wonder if you’re really living or perhaps you’re already dead and just didn’t notice.

    You know they are sucking the life out of you. Deep down you want to get away. But how do you escape? How do you go about your life when the very people that you need to get away from are the people you can’t live without?

  3. 1. This is a bigger issue than negative people and I would not suggest that I am qualified to respond. I would suggest getting some professional help.
    2. Sometimes (often) it is family that is a negative influence on all of us. Then you can “manage” the amount of time you spend with them, you can choose to spend more time with those people who are a positive influence.

    At the end of the day we are all responsible for our own lives.

  4. 1. This is a bigger issue than negative people and I would not suggest that I am qualified to respond. I would suggest getting some professional help.
    2. Sometimes (often) it is family that is a negative influence on all of us. Then you can “manage” the amount of time you spend with them, you can choose to spend more time with those people who are a positive influence.

    At the end of the day we are all responsible for our own lives.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.